Corrupt a wish

This is another game I stole from the forum.

Each person makes a wish. The next poster grants their wish in a humorous way so they get something completely different from what they actually wanted (but without changing the wish itself). Once you have corrupted a wish, post a new one. If you thought of a good corruption for a prior wish, you can also post that.

Examples:

I wish I never had to work again.
Granted. You’re serving twenty life sentences for crimes you didn’t commit.

I wish I had a million quid.
Granted; your entire family and friends were killed, and this is their life insurance.

I’ll begin:

I wish people will like this game.

Nobody reads this…

I wish I had wings.

(Em you didn’t answer that correctly.)

Granted, but you also turn into a pigeon.

I wish I could live forever.

unless you turn into a god or godess?
I wish I had the fanciest car

(Not correctly either, you have to turn it into something different and unpleasant.)

Granted, but it is so fancy someone assaults you and steals it.

I wish more people posted here.

(My gosh)

Granted, but your made it coming tru!

I wish there is a Notessimo Sampler.

(Can any play this game correctly?)

Granted, but it only samples animal noises.

I wish I was famous.

Granted, but everybody hates you.

I wish i could finish this sentenc…

(Finally someone who answered correctly!)

But you finish it by putting in a full stop.

I wish I had ten arms!

Granted, but they strangled you.

I wish I was a good artist.

Granted, but whatever you draw comes to life and attacks you.

I wish I could make something amazing without putting in any effort.

Granted, but you become addicted to all the fame and become a horrible self-centred person.

I wish I could travel to any place instantaneously.

Granted, but your body cannot handle the particle distortion and you age quicker than the average human.

I wish I could travel back in time.

Granted, but you cause a paradox and the universe implodes.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

Granted, you’re metal mario now. Have fun getting back up.

I wish I was in a video game.

Granted, but the memory card has a glitch and you are erased from the game.

I wish my sock was a little bit darker.

Granted, but you have no matching little bit darker socks and have to wear an odd pair.

I wish I could speak every language.

Granted, but you are seen as a threat to the entire world.

I wish I could make my own homemade costume.

Granted, but it is ugly.

I wish I could help orphans in need.

Granted, but you own the orphange and all your millions of dollars (from being famous, see post #7 + 8) go down the toilet because of the orphans (I probably answered wrong)

I wish i had a featured song on this site.